Do you ever look at the person next to you (hypothetically speaking) and they look like they have it all together and they possess all the motivation in the world!!!
This may leave you feeling confused wondering how they are so motivated.
Or maybe judgment creeps in and you assume they have an easier life than you?
And then you look at yourself and somedays you just don't feel the motivation and you wonder what has gone wrong that you're not like them?
Or maybe why you got the short end of the stick and why it's so hard for you.
For my sake, I hope I'm not the only one who's ever had these thoughts.
So what is the key to motivation regardless of what's happening in your life?
I'm going to get personal here, so here we go.
Through my personal struggles I have found steps that have helped me find consistency in motivation which has led to increased happiness.
You see, I am a functioning depressive. I was diagnosed with depression when it reared it's ugly head when I was 20 years old (exacerbated by my parents divorcing and me becoming a new mom) and I didn't know it until I started having suicidal thoughts.
Most people wouldn't know this about me, because from the outside looking in you'll see I'm happy, I'm making great money selling 70+ houses each year, became Mayor of my small town, take vacations, drive a nice car....I don't know what else people love to judge me for but I'm sure there is more on the list and that's okay, it doesn't bother me.
But from the outside looking in you'd think it's just so easy for me, wouldn't you?
And if it's easy for me then it must be hard for you?
This ⬆️⬆️⬆️ is not a useful thought. Let me teach you something amazing.
There are a few tricks I will share with you in hopes of relieving some of your own expectations of yourself, and I hope you can become more accepting of the challenges that life throws your way.
This 4 step process will help you to motivate yourself even when you are resistant.
First, remove the JUDGMENT. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, it matters what you do next. When we sit in judgment of ourselves there is not a winner. Judgment is sneaky and wants you to believe it's helpful and if you only knew how terrible you were doing it would magically catapult you into motivation, right? Wrong!
Second, increase your CURIOSITY. How well do you know yourself?
Third, practice AWARENESS. What are your patterns and habits?
For example: If I don't exercise for more than 3 days in a row I will have a hard time pulling myself out of bed. My motivation drastically decreases and I start the downward spiral into the hole of depression. Becoming aware of my patterns allowed me to see what I was doing, without judgment.
Fourth, determine your NON-NEGOTIABLE HABITS. Set yourself up for success by adding the habits to your day that will support your needs. Once I knew that a lack of exercise leads me to spiral downward I had the knowledge to set myself up for success by creating a non-negotiable new habit. I have a few non-negotiables that have helped me become a high-functioning depressive. Exercise is one of those habits. Now if I start getting depressed I have checks and balances, I look at my exercise and diet for the past week and I have an explanation for why I am experiencing depression and how to pull out of it.
So, remove the judgment and replace it with CURIOSITY which leads to AWARENESS then you create NON-NEGOTIABLE HABITS to protect you from repeating the same pattern.
Every day I choose.
I choose to not judge myself when I struggle, the struggle is expected.
I choose to become curious about why I'm struggling.
I choose to become aware by looking at my patterns and habits.
I choose to put non-negotiable habits in place to protect myself from repeating the negative pattern.
This is one way I have personally found that has helped me combat depression. If you find yourself feeling down too often and you struggle to get yourself up and out of the dark hole please ask for help. Tell a friend, find a counselor, see a doctor, take a step to get some help. I've done all of those things too! There is a lighter side and you can find it. One step at a time!