Why do you need them to accept you?Nov 05, 2023
This past month I have been working on my sales skills with my coach and in the process unveiled a pain point I didn't even realize existed.
You see, I LOVE to teach! That is my greatest joy, teaching and coaching and helping others to succeed. But when it comes to "offering" myself and my services (which we call the pitch) I fall short of stellar. I tend to stumble over my words, maybe say something awkward, and never quite feel I've done my offer justice. This may or may not be truth to you but in my head, I have a strong story surrounding my sales skills.
So when my coach and I were working on my resistance to "pitch" myself and my program, my coach asked me a question, "tell me about your childhood" she says. "Oh boy" I said, "here we go!"
I immediately went straight to the following narrative: I was the fat kid all the way through Jr. High. I was sometimes included but about 60% of the time I was left out. (Side note: as an adult, I now know my brain inflated those numbers but it felt real then, and still as an adult was a pretty strong story). So, as a result of not always being included, I became a party of ONE. I created a defense mechanism inside my brain that said, "I don't need your freaking group. I can do things on my own." Essentially I would reject people before they can reject me. It's a self-preservation mechanism to avoid feeling those dang negative feelings. The funny part was I hadn't realized it was rearing its ugly head.
I attribute part of my tenacity and independence to the experiences I had in early childhood. We grow from our stories and I felt like it served me well and helped me become the amazing entrepreneur that I am today. AND, here's what's interesting. It's not serving me anymore. What brought me to this point in my life has now become a hindrance to my progress.
Thursday I was with a High Performance Coaching Mastermind Group with only 25 people and Brendon Burchard for a special training. After the training day, we all went to Top Golf. Imagine, Brendon Burchard at Top Golf with you!!! AAAHHH What a room to be in! (If you don't know Brendon, he was just named one of the top 5 coaches in the world and charges 1M a year to coach with him personally).
It was uncomfortable for me but I made it a point to introduce myself to the other coaches I didn't know, shake their hand, and ask them about their business. In so doing, I made my way to this nice lady who was a keynote speaker (something I am currently working toward). She told me all about her business, and then she asked about mine. I gave her a quick overview of who I serve and why I love it.
And then I noticed something very interesting. She was distracted. She wasn't really interested in what I had to say (and here comes that feeling of rejection from the 'cool kids group' sneaking in on me). I had put myself out there which was a hard thing to do and I wasn't being received the way I was hoping.
What happened next is what has completely changed my perspective.
Instead of feeling rejected, I got curious.
I watched where her attention went to and what she did next defined my future (okay a little dramatic there, but really, it was a pivotal moment for me).
She was watching the group of people surrounding Brendon Burchard. She wanted to be in 'the group'. I watched as she waited for the right time to stand up and quietly assert herself into the group circle and try and join the conversation. This was important to her, so much so that her attention was zoomed in on that need to be a part of that circle, looking to be accepted.
At that moment I realized something life-changing for me.
You see, I ask people about their lives in an effort to understand them, discover their talents, and look for ways I can help them grow. I am not looking to be accepted but instead, I am always looking for ways to accept others.
I don't need to be a part of the group. I am not the kind of person who steps on others to get to where I'm going. I am the person who reaches out a hand and lifts others up so we all go together.
This is the #1 reason why my coaching program is different. I help you define YOUR talents, strengths, goals, and improve your performance, and help you create a better life experience.
So, this Thursday at Ask A Coach I'm going to share with you HOW I BUILT MY BUSINESS. From what it was like in the beginning, where the business came from, what I invested in, and my key takeaways of what worked and what didn't. Then I'll answer your questions and we can do a little coaching!
Register for Ask A Coach this Thursday at www.agentleader.com/askacoach and watch your email for the Zoom link. If you are out showing houses then catch the replay when you subscribe to the podcast.
Life is meant to be experienced. Let's make that experience more enjoyable.
Wishing you all the best this week.
Coach Lisa Binggeli
If you missed it, check out the FIRST podcast episode of Real Estate Business Growth & Mindset Coaching where you get to meet me!
1 | Meet your coach! My name is Lisa Binggeli
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